Sunday, January 17, 2016

Ride it out.

Yesterday, I was reading through some of those horrifying things I wrote between the ages of 18 and 20. You know. Those letters you write to boys that you save as Word documents because you have no intention of actually saying those things out loud? Those lists of things you want to do when you someday have a boyfriend?

I got to one that was a list of traits I wanted in a future husband. Right there amidst the laundry list of normal things a girl includes, it said

8. Doesn't watch The Office.

I almost laughed out loud because it was so absurd. One month ago, I started watching The Office for the first time and have binge watched 6 seasons of it. I'm just slowing down now so I don't get sick of it. But it's still all I can talk about.

Yes, I remember not liking The Office in high school (Michael Scott made me nervous), but I don't remember vilifying it. 


It's funny that that person could have been me, but the me now that loves The Office is still me, even thou they are such different people.

And all the letters to all the boys I thought I would someday marry? It feels embarrassing now. And strange that something that once meant so much to me now doesn't mean anything to me at all.

That's a question that I've always had. How can we trust our feelings when our feelings change? Why do our feelings feel like everything to us in the moment--enough so that we base our choices on them?

It seems like we should just ride it out and wait until the next feeling comes.

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