Thursday, January 29, 2015

If you died tonight, would you be saved?

Today,
as I was walking onto
the train platform,
I saw two
normal-looking middle-aged women.

I think I looked right at them.
(First mistake.)
One smiled and said, "Hi!"

Of course,
my reaction was what?
But my body
was still pushing forward
(inertia)
and before I knew it,
she was right there
and I was right there
and she put a pamphlet
in my hand
and said,
"If you died tonight, would you be saved?"

Of course,
my reaction was what?
But somehow I said,
"Thank you,"
and inertia
kept carrying me forward.

I got on the train,
and then I pulled it out of my pocket
and read it.

It was called
God Will Forgive You.

Most of the things in there
were things I believed,
more or less.

There was a picture
of the author.
She looked nice.
Right?

And it is nice,
in a way,
isn't it?

That people take time
making pamphlets.
That they think
regular people
on a train platform
are worth it.

They don't know
which people on that platform
have giant pamphlet-sized holes
in their souls,
so they give one
to everyone.

They didn't know
what I would do
with their message,
but they didn't care.

They didn't know
that I stared off into space
and said to myself,
If I died tonight,
would I be saved?

The man across from me
on the train
was wearing a cowboy hat
with two University of Utah pins
pinned right to the front.

He had a mustache,
and was reading a book.

I looked at him and thought,
I bet
he never has occasion
to be shaken
by women with pamphlets.

I slouched down into my seat,
leaned onto the wall of the train,
and wished that its gentle rock,
like a great, cavernous mother,
might lull me to sleep.

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