In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter--bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."
I think the thing that bothers me most about my life
is that I'm mortal.
Casper David Friedrich
It's something that I can't accept,
because it feels so limiting.
I feel like I'm made of greater stuff than that.
I should be able to pick up French again,
and dabble in Latin.
I should be able to get another degree in history teaching
and another in humanities
and another in American studies
and then go to law school.
Why don't I know the history of labor unions?
Why can't I be an expert on
every case that went to the Supreme Court
and why haven't I read
the hundred most influential books of all time?
When will I know the story of the Irish Republican Brotherhood
and when will I celebrate the national day
of each country in the world?
I should know how to play the harmonica.
I should see Casablanca.
I should memorize etymologies.
I want to know everything.
Everything about mankind and the human condition.
About what they did and what they thought and what they made.
There is something so godly about being a human being.
I want to know everything,
because down to my living, breathing guts
I am a human.
Which also happens to make me feel so frustratingly limited.
I look forward to the day when I will burst my limitations
and learn everything
and become like God.
Being mortal is like tasting a bit of being godly