Monday, October 31, 2011

Halloween is dumb.

Halloween would be a lot cooler if we took it back to its roots.

Like if we burned crops in big bonfires to prepare against the coming winter.

And wore costumes of animal skins and heads and tried to read each others' fortunes.

But then I guess that would make us Pagans.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Why I Avoid Pinterest

I waste enough time already.

I don't need any more help in that area.



Thursday, October 27, 2011

If life were easy, it wouldn't be hard.

I defy my own rules.

I make others bear my burdens.

I eat candy for breakfast & forget to print my homework.

I worry about work, because I can't be the perfect mentor.

I'm pointedly prudish.

But tonight I lay on my back with Kim Bennett
and found pictures in the texture of the ceiling.

I saw a bat dipping his toe into a swimming pool to test the temperature of the water.

That was something nice for us to do.

The moral of the story is
If life were easy, it wouldn't be hard.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Tilly McBroom.

I still love Utah as much as ever,

but I've really been missing the East.

Old New Castle, Delaware.

I've been wanting to see a good ol' East Coast deciduous forest. 

I want to go to Walden Pond and quote transcendentalists and suck out all the marrow of life.

I especially miss the ethnic and religious diversity of home.

We were talking about ethnic groups in my Human Geography class.

And I realized I miss the Italians.

I miss the Irish.
I miss how everyone is Irish at St. Patrick's Day.

I miss the Polish last names.
Like Wozniak & Lewandowski.

I miss going to high school with the children of Chinese & Indian immigrants.

I had no idea that black Americans made up only 13% of the US.
I miss them.

I miss being from a place where everyone was Catholic. 
I remember being jealous that everyone in elementary school got to go to CCD and I didn't.

I miss Jews, too. 

Senator Joe Lieberman spoke at BYU today.
He's Jewish, if you didn't know that.

Doesn't that sound nice?

(I sincerely hope none of these pictures are offensive.)

Monday, October 24, 2011

Witchcraft. Priestcraft. Willard Kraft.

I'm not crafty.

For example,
I could never make this.

In fact, thinking about cutting a teddy bear pattern out of fabric 
almost sent me over the edge today.

That's not something I can mentally do.
That's not something I'm good at.

I am good at these things:

-Bringing donuts and chocolate milk to my friends.

-Giving people awkward compliments.


-Staying late at an activity to help clean up.

(Have you noticed that I've been a little psycho lately? 
And that all I talk about on my blog is giving awkward compliments and hugging?)


The Joseph Smith Building (JSB) is where they hold most religion classes at BYU.

Am I a heathen if I hate going into the JSB?

I hate the way it smells.

I hate that the halls remind me of high school hallways.

I hate the creaky, cramped chairs.

The only good things are the Minerva Teichert paintings on the walls.

"Just thought you ought to know!"

Friday, October 21, 2011


I consciously try to avoid becoming incensed.

But I was unable to do so during the following two experiences.

1. When picking the hymn at the beginning of class one day, my Doctrine & Covenants professor said, 
"Oh, the sisters in here don't know Ye Elders of Israel."

You think I don't know "Ye Elders of Israel" because I'm a girl?

Pardon me, but I know all three verses. Probably better than some of the elders in the class.

2. Last week, this reading strategies expert gave us a presentation at work.

And she said this heinous lie:

"Oh, you all don't know what telegrams are, do you?"

Are you trying to tell me I don't know what a telegram is?

Whatever happened to

"Dear Rolfe.
Don't stop!
Your Liesl."


Oh, I know what a telegram is.

But that's not even the worst of it.

It got worse.

Then she said,

"A telegram is like a tweet."


I think my brain just exploded.


I don't accept.

Not kosher.


If anything, a tweet is like a telegram. Because the telegram came first.

But it's really not.

Just a soapbox to remind the world
that hymns are hymns
and  the internet is not real life.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Boys & girls together, me & Mamie O'Rourke.

  Though I am somewhat reluctant to share,

at the urging of Lee & Melissa, I give you

Moyes' Taxonomy of Male-Female Relations at BYU

Please note that this classification system is admittedly limited in scope. 
It applies only to BYU, only to male-female relations in which the boy has completed missionary service, only to current time.

However, Moyes' Taxonomy is based on a number of principles which transcend the social climate for which it was developed.

Moyes' Taxonomy deals only with male-female relations that include a baseline level of regard for each other. It does not seek to model antagonistic relationships.

In this model, the appropriate amount of time for any male and female to spend together is a function of potential romantic interest and affection/closeness.

1. Potential Romantic Interest (PRI) - Openness to a dating relationship. PRI is always either present or absence in a male-female relationship. The presence of PRI does not indicate that parties are actually romantically interested or actively pursuing each other--simply that they are not closed to the idea of a dating relationship. 

PRI occurs at different levels. At its lowest and most basic, a party has not considered a dating relationship with the other party, but would not staunchly oppose if the possibility were brought up. A more developed PRI means that one party is actively hoping for a dating relationship.

2. Affection - Feelings of care, regard, and interest in another person. Separate from PRI, and usually resulting from Christlike charity.

3. Closeness - A sense of emotional intimacy, with a desire to share one's thoughts with another and hear the other's thoughts. Closeness is characterized by enjoying time spent together. Friendship.

The Levels:

PRI Present
PRI Absent
High Affection/Closeness
Level 3
Level 2
Low Affection/Closeness
Level 1
 *No level exists for Low Affection/Closeness & PRI Present because it is assumed that, if PRI were present, parties would work to increase affection and/or closeness.

Level 1 - Casual Friends
-Male & female enjoy each other's company, but are not especially close and, for whatever reason, are not open to the idea of dating each other.

Male & female may spend time together in groups, or alone occasionally when it is convenient. For example:
     -Speaking at church functions when it is natural and convenient to do so.
     -Seeking each other out once in a while to catch up briefly.
     -Hanging out in a large group setting.

Level 2 - Intimate but Uninterested
-Male & female are rather close friends with many positive feelings between them, and, for whatever reason, are not open to the idea of dating each other.

Male & female may seek each other out when it is mildly convenient, often to discuss the details of each others' dating lives
     -It is appropriate for the time they spend together to be alone, so long as it is infrequent.
     -When they are clearly established in Level 2, male and female at this level are often free  to express their affection with the least inhibition.

Level 3 - Intimate Friends
-Male and female are close friends with many positive feelings between them, and, either consciously or subconsciously, would not be closed to the idea of a dating relationship.

Male & female may inconvenience themselves to spend time together. 
     -It is appropriate and preferred that they spend time alone.
     -The desired outcome of intimate friends is that male & female continue to get to know each other so that their relationship can either becoming a dating relationship or morph to Level 2.

The Application:
1. Levels are not static. Like electrons in a cell that can jump levels when a photon is absorbed or emitted, a male-female relationship may change levels with increased or decreased energy.

2. If your relationship is deeply set at Level 1 or 2 and neither party desires to change the level of the relationship, do not suggest that male & female spend extra or inconvenient time together.

3. If your relationship is in Level 2, be careful how you treat your friend. The commonest problem in male-female relationships is when one party views the relationship at Level 2 and the other views it at Level 3. The Level 2-minded party who feels free to show much affection ends up sending the wrong signal to the party who (typically) has a higher level of PRI.

Think before you spend time with members of the opposite sex. "Does the amount and type of time we're spending reflect the level of our relationship?"

I invite reactions and comments concerning the validity of this classification system: personal experiences, exceptions, holes in logic, etc.

(I also apologize for writing something so long with so few pictures.)


The boy who sits in front of me in Greek wears a polo shirt every day.

And for some reason,

my itchy little fingers want to creep over and

pop his collar.

Every day.

Just pop it up.

Obviously, I refrain.

But today

I realized that I was also wearing a polo shirt.

So I just popped my own collar!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

You will be awesome!

Things that make you a better person:

1. Watching really weird foreign movies that you don't understand.

2. Giving people compliments even though it might be awkward.

3. Learning about your grandparents from your mom.

4. Reading hard books.

5. Looking people in the eye.

6. Giving your money away to something good.

"Recently, a nine-year-old boy was diagnosed with a rare bone cancer. The doctor explained the diagnosis and the treatment, which included months of chemotherapy and major surgery. He said it would be a very difficult time for the boy and his family but then added, 'People ask me, "Will I be the same after this is over?" I tell them, "No, you won't be the same. You will be so much stronger. You will be awesome!"'"
Elder Paul V. Johnson,

Thursday, October 13, 2011


One thing that I've been learning is

Life is not a checklist.

The everyday events of our lives aren't a checklist.

The gospel isn't a checklist.

Love isn't a checklist.

Remember in Young Women's when they'd have you write that list of qualities that you wanted in your future husband?

We've all done it.

When I was 13, the first thing I wrote down on my list was


What does that even mean?

That's definitely not important.

During senior year of high school, it was
-righteous Mormon
-loves HISTORY!
-likes kids
-doesn't text message in church
-like my dad

(Not sure why loving history was that important.)
(Or why I thought I'd be able to find every positive quality in one person.)

And during this summer I came up with this list in Relief Society:
loves to talk

But the problem is, you don't love people because they are a list of qualities.

It's not like a disease:

"Well, ahem, if your boyfriend has five or more of these symptoms, then we're definitely looking at a case of love here."


Love isn't a checklist.

You love people because you love them.

Because you know they are spirit sons and daughters of Heavenly Father.

Because they have divine worth and potential.

See then when you love someone, it's easy to list the things you like about them.

And that's just the best thing there is to feel.

"God does not have a list of favorites to which we must hope our names will someday be added."
Elder David A. Bednar,

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Sob story.

Once upon a time,

all the boys that I thought were cute in my Greek class

turned out to be freshmen.

Okay, it isn't that extreme.

But it's still embarrassing.

I laugh at myself at least once a class period just thinking about it.

But then again, I laugh at myself often.

I swear, he looked at least 21.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Should you feel inclined to censor...

Sometimes I write entire blog posts and don't post them.

Because they are too pretentious/judgmental/personal.

Monday, October 10, 2011

The New World.

Hello, this is me.

Your resident lesser-celebrated American holiday expert.

And today is a special day.

Because once upon a time in 1492, my man Christopher Columbus discovered the new world!


Say what you will about the negative effects of conquest and colonization, 
but it happened.

And if it hadn't, most of us Anglo-Americans wouldn't be here.

And I'm glad to be here.

All you need to do to celebrate Columbus Day is listen to some discovering America music.

(This song is appropriate for all American celebrations.)

Sit there and close your eyes
and think about discovering a new continent.

A land of plenty,
of wild beauty,
of promise.

Stepping off your ship onto soil never touched by your people.
Never dreamed of.

Do it.

Doesn't your heart swell with triumph?

(The cheese factor on this post is extremely high.
But when it comes to America, you can never go too high.)