Would you like to know some of my quirks?
I think you would.
1. When the movie ends, I love dancing around to the closing credits music.
If it was a really good movie, my feelings of joy just come out by dancing crazy.
Like unto this picture.
(I tried to find a picture of someone dancing crazy on google, but then I said to myself, "Wait! I have my own!")
2. My hair is always crazy. Always.
And I spend way too much of my life trying to hide it.
But apparently, I always document it in pictures.
3. My feet are always dirty.
And I don't really try to hide it at all.
4. If your blog post has no pictures, I'm probably not going to read it.
Unless it's short.
The Onion pretty much has it right.
5. I don't wear perfume and I don't enjoy the smell of cologne.
I prefer for people not to smell like anything at all.
But I also kind of like bad smells.
Like rotting yard waste.
Don't do it! Turn back!
I love the smell of rotting yard waste. Love it.
6. I think action scenes are a snoozefest.
I'd rather watch talking any day.
Or better yet, a montage.
Not even Jason Bourne driving a Mini Cooper down a set of stairs could salvage this car chase in my mind.
Honestly, I think violence is a little overrated.
7. I think melted cheese is pretty much gross.
When I tell people this about myself, they usually say, "I'm sorry."
8. I don't like animals because they can't talk to you.
Or more accurately, they make noises and make messes and do weird things,
but they can't tell you why.
Don't worry; I like human children. At least they'll learn to talk one day.
I feel like this makes me sound really negative.
I love life, guys. I swear.